March 26, 2013

Seeing Bigger

I had a really great couple of workouts in the last few days.  I ran on the treadmill this weekend.  Not sure why, but I am so sore! Definitely not a bad thing! I have a love hate relationship with running lately.  I either get in the groove or I don't, there is no in between.  I usually plug in and watch tv while I run, but I found my iPod this weekend and decided to download some new music to take with me to the gym. I downloaded Will.I.Am's new song called '#thatPOWER'. I put that song on repeat and just ran.  Such a good beat and it totally got me in the groove.  It was a really great run, felt like I could have ran forever! I would definitely recommend that song!

I ran so many errands this weekend. I have been looking for new lamps and decorations for my bedroom.  On Sunday evening, before I went home, I decided to stop at one last store to see if I could find anything for my bedroom. Before walking over to the home section of the store, I stopped and looked at clothes.  Although I didn't find any shirts or actual clothes, I did find some yoga pants that I really liked.  I first went to the dressing room with several pairs of yoga pants, all size large. Tried a few on, went back out and grabbed a couple mediums, then went back and tried them on, then went back out again to grab more mediums.

After three trips to the dressing room, I realized, I am still seeing myself as if I never lost weight.  I am used to just grabbing the biggest size there is and crossing my fingers, hoping that it will fit.  Each time I grab something and its too big now, I double check the size.  Maybe I was in the plus size section? Maybe I read the tag wrong? Nope, I am just smaller than I used to be.  Such a cool realization, but I am starting to wonder if I will ever see myself as just me and not the old me. I have literally never worn a size medium in yoga pants.  I thought maybe it was just the brand that ran larger, but no, ever single pair of yoga pants fit and they were a medium.

I worked out with my trainer yesterday.  Lots of squats, back work and core. I wore my new yoga pants to class and I wore a new tank top I bought.  As many of you know, I don't ever wear tank tops to the gym. Why? Because of my arms and back fat. But lately, I find myself wearing a tank top to the gym every chance I get.  My trainer happened to noticed and said, "I thought you hated tank tops?!". Another woman told me I looked great it in and totally can pull it off.  Made me feel really good.

I might still view myself as much heavier than I actually am, but I have so much more confidence than I once had. Happy and confident, this journey is so much more rewarding than I ever could have imagined.

Jess

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