February 25, 2013

Little By Little

Hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was great.  I spent Friday evening with my family and ate dinner at my Mom's house.  Went to bed pretty early and was able to get up early Saturday morning to hit the gym.  I did the elliptical and the bike.  I am really trying to increase my cardio to help lose some weight.  I didn't lift all weekend - that was a first!

After the gym on Saturday, I stopped at the supplement store.  I love my protein shakes, but my favorite powder, Myoplex Lite, has a lot of carbs.  My other protein, Optimum Nutrition Vanilla Whey, has a little bit of a funky taste to me.  Great in my coffee, but I do not like it alone.  So I went to Super Supplements and asked one of the sales guys for some help.  He pointed me to MRM's Vanilla Whey Protein.  All natural, no additives and best of all - low calorie, low fat, low carb and decent amount of protein.  I have such a hard time finding protein powder that is gluten free and still tastes great.  This is by far my favorite protein I have tried.  Added a scoop to my blender bottle, two ice cubes and it was completely smooth and tasted great.  I was impressed.  I am planning on writing a review of all of my protein powders - so be sure to check it out :)

MRM Natural Vanilla Whey Protein


On Sunday, I went with my sister to her work.  She teaches gymnastics.  She was giving a private lesson and I decided to join her so I could use some of the trampolines while she taught.  I was surprised how good of a workout I got on those trampolines.  I found a couple weights and did some squats and core work.  It was a very short workout, but definitely got my heart rate going for a while!

New mini Blender Bottle - so cute :) 



After she was done with her lesson, we stopped at the store so she could print some pictures for a school project.  We were looking through all of the pictures from her camera and choosing which ones to print.  All of the pictures were from 2011 - the year of my heaviest weight.  My jaw dropped.  Every single fat picture I saw of myself, I printed.  When you're overweight, there aren't any pictures that are flattering or where you look thin.  So, I printed several pictures.  There were pictures from Christmas 2010 and 2011.  Its amazing how much weight I gained in one year, I looked like a completely different person in 2011 - a person I don't even recognize.  How did I gain that much weight in one year? How did I not notice? How do you gain almost 50lbs and not notice?! I don't get it.

So, I printed out several pictures and on the car ride home I just stared at them.  Just unbelievable how out of control I let myself get.  I find it hard not to get depressed thinking about it, regret not realizing my weight gain sooner and doing something about it.  But, then I look in the mirror and realize that girl - the one who was miserable and overweight - that girl is gone, I don't even know who that girl is anymore.  These pictures are now my motivation to continue working hard so that I don't ever have to meet that girl again.

December 2011 - Can't believe I ever looked like this!



I posted this picture on Twitter and Instagram this weekend.  Lots of nice comments, but then a few people told me how brave I was and I wasn't quite sure what they meant.  I took it as a "good for you, but I would be so embarrassed posting a picture like that".  Maybe I am reading into it, maybe I'm not.  But before I get a bunch of comments about how fat I look on here, I just want to say that these pictures make me really proud.  They show me how far I have come. I am not that person anymore.  When I am feeling bad and feeling like I am not making progress, I can look at these pictures and know that a lot of little progress really adds up.

After a week of feeling huge and stuck - this weekend proved to me I am making progress.  Little by little, it all adds up!

Jess

Follow me on Instagram @ JRTRUNR
This top used to be skin tight - now it is very loose. Progress!!! (and - my quads are finally looking more defined!)

Baby Sadie :) 
Cardio Time!

1 comments:

  1. Hey there. I just stumbled upon your facebook page today and started browsing through your blog, and after looking at this last one, I wanted to comment. I have lost about 90 lbs in the last couple of years and have also posted before and after pictures--and it was difficult for me to do, because I don't want people to see me "that" way, but I did it to motivate others, like you did. Anyone who tells you you're "brave" in a condescending way because they'd be too "embarrassed" is, according to my gut reaction, a coward who is insecure with herself and is trying to bring you down about your own success.

    Something else I noticed and wanted to comment on: I can totally relate to what you were saying about not recognizing that girl anymore and not wanting her in your life. I feel that way, too. I feel a lot of disgust for the person I used to be and feel like I'm constantly fighting her, to keep her from coming back. But I also think this is sad, and probably unhealthy. I know that the person I was is still me, that she still deserved love and it was loving herself that helped her to be successful. I found it helpful to see someone else who has those feelings, so I could see objectively what I am doing when I feel like I hate that person I was. Sure, we made poor life choices that led to unhappiness and have had to do a lot of work to get to where we are, but I don't think those former versions of us deserve to be hated and treated like a different person we want nothing to do with. Even though that's how other people treated me because I was fat, I should not stoop to their level. I need to learn to respect and love myself, and forgive myself for how I used to be. I hope you can love your former self, too. She's a beautiful woman who had the courage and the character to change herself, when a lot of people just accept defeat and then try to bring others down.

    Thank you for your blog. It's nice to know of some other women out there who struggle with some of the same things. It's encouraging.

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