February 26, 2013

Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

I don't know how many times in the past I have tried to lose weight.  Even when I was at my lowest weight, I have always wanted to slim down and tone up.  Every time I would start a new diet plan or exercise regimen, I would always quit for one reason or another.  Diet and exercise was always so time consuming so I never followed through.  I would usually have a mental plan for myself, wake up early, exercise and eat right.  But the second my alarm would go off in the morning, I would press snooze and go back to sleep thinking I would exercise after work.  After work would come around and I would head home with every intention of going to the gym.  Once I would get home, I would realize I was too tired and would make excuses for myself.  Just like going to the gym, I would always try to eat healthy. I would tell myself I would go to the store at lunch and pick up a salad or something healthy.  But the second I would get the invite to go to lunch with a coworker, my entire plan would fly out the window.

In my head, I thought I had a plan.  But I was never prepared so I always found loop holes in my plan.  I think the main thing that separates this time around  and all of the other times I have tried and failed is the fact that I plan and prepare.  If you fail to plan, you are setting yourself up for failure.

I give myself extra time in the evenings to plan for the next day.  During the day, I figure out what I am going to cook in the evenings.  I make sure that everything I cook can be used as leftovers and I always make sure to cook enough to have leftovers. After cooking in the evening, I put the extras into Tupperware for the next day. This way, I have no excuse not to take my lunch and be tempted to go out to lunch with coworkers.  Also, I always make sure to have prepackaged foods and chopped vegetables on hand like Chobani yogurt, hard boiled eggs, individual packaged hummus, chopped celery, nut thins and protein powder.  These are all great items to take to work to snack on during the day or even toss in your purse for when you are out and about.  I plan out every snack and meal so I leave no loop holes for myself.  As for my water consumption, I plan for that as well.  I keep a water bottle on me at all times.

When it comes to working out and taking supplement, I plan for that too! Each evening, I get all of my gym stuff together.  Running pants, Nikes, socks, shirt, sports bra, hair ties, hairspray, headphones, makeup remover - you name it, I pack it! I also measure out my protein powder and creatine in my blender bottle.  I put my blender bottle and my BCAAs in my workout bag along with all of my workout gear.  For the supplements that I take in the morning, I put them next to my coffee pot so I remember to take them.  If I leave them in the cupboard  I will forget about them! Packing all of this stuff in the evening may seem time consuming, but it makes it so I have no excuse not to go to the gym after work.  I dont get to go home after work and use the excuse of being too tired, or going to work and say I forgot my workout clothes.  No excuses!

At first, I hated planning and preparing because I thought it took so long in the evening. Cooking, packing, prepping - who has time for that?! But then I realized, having a plan is the only way to succeed.  I eliminate all excuses when I plan for the next day.

Fail to plan, plan to fail!


Meal Prepping!

Sadie and I watching the Bachelor
Mia :) 

February 25, 2013

Little By Little

Hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was great.  I spent Friday evening with my family and ate dinner at my Mom's house.  Went to bed pretty early and was able to get up early Saturday morning to hit the gym.  I did the elliptical and the bike.  I am really trying to increase my cardio to help lose some weight.  I didn't lift all weekend - that was a first!

After the gym on Saturday, I stopped at the supplement store.  I love my protein shakes, but my favorite powder, Myoplex Lite, has a lot of carbs.  My other protein, Optimum Nutrition Vanilla Whey, has a little bit of a funky taste to me.  Great in my coffee, but I do not like it alone.  So I went to Super Supplements and asked one of the sales guys for some help.  He pointed me to MRM's Vanilla Whey Protein.  All natural, no additives and best of all - low calorie, low fat, low carb and decent amount of protein.  I have such a hard time finding protein powder that is gluten free and still tastes great.  This is by far my favorite protein I have tried.  Added a scoop to my blender bottle, two ice cubes and it was completely smooth and tasted great.  I was impressed.  I am planning on writing a review of all of my protein powders - so be sure to check it out :)

MRM Natural Vanilla Whey Protein

On Sunday, I went with my sister to her work.  She teaches gymnastics.  She was giving a private lesson and I decided to join her so I could use some of the trampolines while she taught.  I was surprised how good of a workout I got on those trampolines.  I found a couple weights and did some squats and core work.  It was a very short workout, but definitely got my heart rate going for a while!

New mini Blender Bottle - so cute :) 

After she was done with her lesson, we stopped at the store so she could print some pictures for a school project.  We were looking through all of the pictures from her camera and choosing which ones to print.  All of the pictures were from 2011 - the year of my heaviest weight.  My jaw dropped.  Every single fat picture I saw of myself, I printed.  When you're overweight, there aren't any pictures that are flattering or where you look thin.  So, I printed several pictures.  There were pictures from Christmas 2010 and 2011.  Its amazing how much weight I gained in one year, I looked like a completely different person in 2011 - a person I don't even recognize.  How did I gain that much weight in one year? How did I not notice? How do you gain almost 50lbs and not notice?! I don't get it.

So, I printed out several pictures and on the car ride home I just stared at them.  Just unbelievable how out of control I let myself get.  I find it hard not to get depressed thinking about it, regret not realizing my weight gain sooner and doing something about it.  But, then I look in the mirror and realize that girl - the one who was miserable and overweight - that girl is gone, I don't even know who that girl is anymore.  These pictures are now my motivation to continue working hard so that I don't ever have to meet that girl again.

December 2011 - Can't believe I ever looked like this!

I posted this picture on Twitter and Instagram this weekend.  Lots of nice comments, but then a few people told me how brave I was and I wasn't quite sure what they meant.  I took it as a "good for you, but I would be so embarrassed posting a picture like that".  Maybe I am reading into it, maybe I'm not.  But before I get a bunch of comments about how fat I look on here, I just want to say that these pictures make me really proud.  They show me how far I have come. I am not that person anymore.  When I am feeling bad and feeling like I am not making progress, I can look at these pictures and know that a lot of little progress really adds up.

After a week of feeling huge and stuck - this weekend proved to me I am making progress.  Little by little, it all adds up!


Follow me on Instagram @ JRTRUNR
This top used to be skin tight - now it is very loose. Progress!!! (and - my quads are finally looking more defined!)

Baby Sadie :) 
Cardio Time!

February 22, 2013


Green Smoothie - Trop50, Spinach, Strawberries, Pineapple, Mango
Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel fat?

I am having one of those days.  Actually, I have felt this way all week.  Every outfit I try on makes me feel huge.  I feel heavy and I feel like I am stalling.  My size has obviously not changed since the week before, yet I feel much heavier this week.  I tried on so many different outfits today and nothing looked good.

Tonight, I am hanging out with some girls from my bible study and we are having a board game night.  Its not until later in the evening, but I am afraid I won't have time to go to the gym, shower and make it over there in time.  I am hoping to workout at home before I head over there.

I want to make progress.  I am so frustrated by my weight plateau. I have such a hard time motivating myself when I have days like this. I think I really need to increase my cardio.  Right now, I am lifting five days a week and doing cardio only three days a week.  Stalls are usually a sign you need to mix things up - whether it be your diet or exercise routine.  So, going to try to mix things up a bit and start making progress again!

Happy Friday!


February 20, 2013

Supplements & Struggles

Last nights workout was AWESOME to say the least.  I have been really good about taking my supplements lately and can definitely tell a difference in the gym.  I have been taking Cellucor's Super HD in the morning and at lunch time. Thirty minutes before my workout I take a teaspoon of creatine.  After my workout, I take a little more creatine, BCAAs and a protein shake.  All of these paired together, I feel like a beast at the gym.

I rode the bike last night for a full hour.  I did hills at a resistance level of 10.  Throughout the entire hour, with both hills and resistance, I was able to maintain a rate per minute of 90-100.  I biked 16.5 miles in the hour. During my cardio, I usually watch tv because it makes the time go by faster.  Yesterday, I listened to music.  I had Hollywood Undead's 'We Are' on repeat for the entire hour.  I felt unstoppable, felt like I could have easily done another hour of cardio.  I was in the zone. Once I was done with cardio, I went and did some leg lifts.  My legs are so strong, its fun being able to lift as much as the other guys in the gym.

The drive home from the gym was a struggle.  A few years ago after one of my workouts, I remember walking out of the gym and hearing a guy yelling at me from behind.  He said, 'If you can walk that fast out of the gym, you clearly didn't work hard enough'.  I never really understood what he meant.  If you're in shape, the gym shouldn't exhaust you that much, right? Wrong! I struggled to walk to my car last night, let alone drive home.  My legs were so tired that I had a hard time pressing on the gas pedal.  I was afraid I was going to get pulled over for driving too slow! Sorry Officer, it was a Leg Day!

As hard as I have been working, I still am feeling slightly discouraged.  The scale has been stuck at one number for a while now.  I just want to lose the rest of this fat! My muscles feel strong, I know I have muscles hiding underneath this layer of fat.  I am eating good, taking my fat burner, working my butt off in the gym.  Why isn't this weight falling off?! My Mom was telling me about her coworker last weekend, she is on a diet getting reading for a vacation.  She has lost 10 lbs in three weeks.  HOW?! Why isn't my weight falling off that quickly? Why is it taking so long? I don't have the answers, but I am so ready to get rid of this fat.

I think it might be time to put the scale back in storage and base my progress off of pictures, how I feel and how my clothes fit.  I wish I could lose weight as fast as other people can.

I will keep working hard, continue with my workouts and my good eating habits.  I refuse to give up on myself.


February 19, 2013

Whatever You Are, You Are

For my entire life, I have been a really great people pleaser.  I should have put that on my resume as one of my best skills.  No matter who I was around, I could transform myself to be whatever they wanted me to be. It didn't matter if I was being myself or not as long as they liked 'me'.  I found it miserable and exhausting but thought it was worth it.  I have always had this deep fear of people not liking me.

As I started this journey back in October, my main goal was to be happy while becoming fit.  I have realized that the happier I get, the less of a people pleaser I become.  At first, I thought this was because I was being selfish - choosing my happiness over others happiness.  But I am slowly realizing that no matter what I do in life, I can't please everyone.  No matter if you do something good or bad, there is someone out there that will have something to say about it.

Right now, more than ever, I feel like I have a good idea of who I am as a person and it feels really good.  I know what I want and I know what I don't want.  For the first time in my life I feel like I know what I deserve and I don't feel the need to settle.  I value the people in my life who love me for me and I know I don't need to keep people in my life who don't. I feel no need to apologize for who I am anymore.

I saw this quote and I feel like it totally suits where I am in my life right now.

"Whatever you are, you are.  Be proud of it."

I can change, grow and improve - but I will always be me.  It is so freeing to just be yourself and not worry if other people like you.  I like who I am and I am learning to be proud of who I am.  I can listen to people's opinions and thoughts, but I do not have to let what they say and think define who I am as a person.

I am confident in who I am and the things I believe in. I am finally good at just being me - and that, I am proud of!


Wore a tank top to the gym for the first time in years!

250 Calories and 40 grams of protein!
Nails match my Nikes :) 

February 15, 2013

Super HD Squats

Yesterday was the first day I took my new supplement from Cellucor, Super HD. I took one pill in the morning on an empty stomach and then another one right before lunch, about six hours apart.  Super HD gave me enough energy that I didn't need to drink any coffee.  I wasn't jittery at all, but I also have a high caffeine tolerance.  I had a pretty low appetite as well.  I still ate, but I didn't have the urge to over eat or snack in the evening.

I went to the gym last night and ran a little bit and then hopped on the elliptical. I had so much energy that I was able to run faster than I have in a long time.  On the elliptical, I was able to maintain a much faster pace than usual.  Last night was a legs day.  So I did squats, leg extension, leg press and hamstring curls.  When I first started this journey, I began squatting with no weight and slowly increased it to about 70lbs.  Yesterday, I was able to squat 200lbs - more than my own body weight! My legs are by far the strongest part of my body and I love it.  I was able to do 150lbs on the leg extension, used to barely do 50lbs when I started.  I never used to like my legs, think it is safe to say I hated them.  My legs are so incredibly strong now, how could I not love them?!

Since it was Valentine's day, I told myself early in the day that I would treat myself to Thai food.  But, after a really great workout, I really wanted to eat a decent meal.  So, I compromised for nachos.  I made my nachos with natural tortilla chips, black beans, avocado, corn and red onions. Topped them off with a little cheese and some tofu sour cream. So good! I surprisingly ate a very small portion and was completely satisfied.

I was able to sleep fine last night.  I was slightly nervous that the Super HD would keep me from falling asleep.  This morning, I woke up feeling really good.  No significant weight loss yet, but I feel good.  I am wearing a jacket today that I bought in college. My arms and shoulders have been too big for this jacket, so I haven't worn this jacket in about a year. Today, it fits! My progress is slow, but I feel really good.

As I gained weight over the last two years, I slowly started putting all the clothes that no longer fit me in bags.  I have several garbage bags full of clothes I used to be able to fit in to.  Over the past few weeks I have started to try on my old clothes.  Some fit, some don't.  But soon enough, they will all fit me again.  Hello new wardrobe!

Only on day two of the Super HD, so far I like it.  Can't wait to see more results!

Happy Friday!

2/15/13 - Quads becoming more defined, even through my jeans!

February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays I dread every single year. Single or in a relationship, I still dread it.  When I am single, I feel like Valentine's day is a reminder of just how single I am.  My Facebook usually explodes with girls posting pictures of all of their flowers and chocolate.  I can't help but get a tiny bit jealous. When I am in a relationship however, I usually have crazy high expectations for this day and find myself getting let down every year.  Last year, I spent Valentine's day with my boyfriend at the time.  I ordered him a heart shaped pizza and bought him beer.  He was happy. 

Every year though, I am usually jealous or disappointed, never content.  Maybe its because I have never truly been content or happy with myself.  Always wanting more, wishing for something else, never satisfied with the way things are. 

This year feels different though. I am single. I am happy. I like who I am for the first time - maybe ever. I know what I want and I know what I don't want. Being single on Valentine's day is not the worst thing in the world.  Like I have said before, I would rather be happy and single than in a relationship and miserable. Valentine's day isn't so bad when you're happy with yourself.  My time will eventually come, but for now, I am going to enjoy being single and happy!

So tonight, I have a hot date with the gym.  Planning on running tonight.  Haven't ran in my new Nike's yet and really look forward to trying them out.  My other running shoes were so heavy and these new Nike's are light as feathers! Today is also leg day! Squats, leg extensions, lunges, hamstring curls, etc. Today is also the first day I am using my new Cellucor supplements.  I am hoping they help increase the intensity of my workouts.

Hope you're all having a wonderful Valentine's Day!

From my Sister

February 12, 2013

Got My Supplements!

Can't wait to try them!
Happy Tuesday folks!

February 11, 2013

Gym Motivation of the Day

  1. I want to be strong
  2. I want to be happy
  3. To be able to wear shorts in the summer
  4. I don't want to be the fat sister
  5. I want muscles
  6. I want to be able to wear a bikini to the beach
  7. I want to wear whatever I want
  8. To be able to wear heels again
  9. I want to feel confident
  10. So I wont be embarrassed when the doctor reads my weight
  11. To run without feeling self conscious
  12. So I don't ever have to start this journey again
  13. To be able to wear skinny jeans
  14. To feel good about myself again
  15. So I don't have to be embarrassed by my weight
  16. I want to be able to do the things I want to do.
  17. I want to be able to run in shorts again
  18. So I can run as fast as I used to 
  19. To be able to say I accomplished my goal
  20. I never want to be fat again
  21. To be able to take before and after pictures
  22. To be proud of myself

Pictures From the Weekend

New Nikes
Saturday Night
Guilty Pleasure
New Post Workout Supplement
Meal Prepping

Hope you all had a great weekend!


February 7, 2013

Traps and Supplements

My trainer kicked my butt last night. We did walking lunges, side squats, shoulder press, upright row, deadlifts, planks on the ball and ended with tricep dips, bicep curls and sit ups. I was sweating pretty good last night, it was a really good workout.

I went home last night and cooked dinner and meal prepped for today.  I have been making a better effort to  pack my lunch everyday.  It is so much easier to eat healthy when I meal prep and have my day planned out.  I finished my evening with a glass of wine and a hot bath.  When I stepped out of the bath, I noticed my collar bones.  I have never had prominent collar bones, even when I was at my lowest weight.  But I have collar bones now and I actually can see my traps.  Seeing bones is not my goal, but seeing muscle is.  After struggling to see progress for the last week or so, this was a good discovery last night.  Hard work pays off.

I have a long ways to go. I feel like I am building muscle faster than I am losing fat. So, I did something that I have told myself I wouldn't do.  I bought a weight loss supplement.  I bought Cellucor's Super HD and CLK. I know several people who use these products and absolutely swear by them, so I decided to give them a try. The products just shipped so I should be getting them in a couple days.  Can't wait to try them out and let you guys know how they work!

I want to be fit.  I want to be strong.  I want to be confident and happy. Hard work, determination and commitment. No matter how long it takes, I will reach my goal.

Pinot Grigio 

February 6, 2013

Love This!

Too good not to share!

Gym Motivation of the Day

This is my motivation for today. I've been struggling, comparing my journey to others. But, my journey is my own and cannot be compared to others. Everyone chooses different ways to get fit and healthy.

Hard work. Dedication. Commitment. 

That is how I am choosing to get fit.  As much as I want a quick fix and to drop weight fast, I know there is no shortcut to getting fit and healthy.  I watch my sister losing weight so fast and I find myself so jealous.  But I will continuously remind myself that my hard work will pay off.

Hard work pays off.

Hard work pays off.

This is what is motivating me today:

  1. I want to be fit.
  2. I want to be able to lift more weight.
  3. I want to be able to run faster.
  4. I want to be confident in myself.
  5. I want to be happy.
  6. I want to lose weight.
  7. I want to be able to buy smaller clothes.
  8. I want to be proud of myself.
  9. I want to prove hard work pays off.

Focus On Yourself

Confessions: I am really struggling right now.  I feel like I am off track and that I have lost focus of my true goal.

This weekend for the Superbowl, my Mom, my sister and I all went to a family friends house.  All anyone could talk about was how skinny my sister looked and how much weight she has lost.  First off, my sister didn't and doesn't need to lose any weight.  She is tiny already, yet, she is losing weight like crazy.  Feels like she turned into a tiny twig overnight and everyone is noticing, telling her how awesome she looks.  I hate to judge others for the way they choose to lose weight and get fit, but my sister doesn't workout - she just doesn't eat anymore.  So while I listen to everyone congratulate her and tell her how good she looks, I am fighting myself not to scream "ITS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T EAT!".  I just can't support the idea of not eating to lose weight. Not a good idea.

Although I do not support her way of losing weight, I can't help but feeling crazy jealous from all the compliments she is getting.  I work my BUTT off everyday.  I am in the gym every single day, sacrificing my weeknights, never sleeping in - just so I can make it to the gym.  Portioning out my food, watching everything I put in my body.  Taking supplements.  Yet, no one notices my hard work like they do hers.

Its so ridiculous to be jealous because frankly, I refuse to lose weight by starving myself. Starving yourself is not a healthy weight loss plan.  So why am I jealous?

Like I have said from the beginning, I don't want to be skinny - I want to be fit.  I want lean muscles.  I want to be strong.  I want to be fast.  I want to be happy.  I want to be confident. I want to love myself.  I want to get fit by eating healthy and working out.

I guess this is a good reminder that I am my only competition and I can't compare my journey with someone elses.   At the end of the day, all that matters is that I am proud of myself.  I am the only one who truly knows how hard I work and how many hours I put in at the gym.  Starving myself would probably make me lose weight faster and get me a couple compliments, but that's not my goal.  I want muscle, I want my body to reflect the hours I put in at the gym and the healthy food choices I make.

I would love for others to notice my weight loss and my hard work, but that is not why I am working hard.  I am doing this for myself.  I need to regain focus.  My focus needs to be on me, myself and I - no one else.


Bath with a good book and cute company
Keeping me company in my bath

Evening snuggles with Sadie
Vanilla Protein, Vanilla Soy, Coffee and Ice - Blended Coffee
So good!

February 4, 2013

Gym Motivation of the Day

Focus On The Good

Hope everyone had a great weekend.  My weekend didn't turn out how I expected it to. I would love to blog about it and vent but it probably wouldn't be very productive or nice.  So, I would like to share a few good things from my weekend so I can forget about the bad stuff.

1. I met up with a friend on Friday night for dinner. I hadn't seen this friend since August and it felt like we hadn't skipped a beat.  Chatted for hours and caught up with one another.  Its nice to know I have good people in my life.  People who want the best for me and are happy to see me succeed.

2. I got to sleep in Saturday morning.  I usually always set an alarm for myself, even on the weekends.  But this weekend I allowed myself to sleep in and just wake up whenever I felt like.

3. I was able to spend Saturday morning just relaxing on the couch, watching Grey's Anatomy and snuggling with my dogs. Sometimes it is the simplest things that make me the happiest.  I don't feel like I get a lot of time to just lay with them on the couch and snuggle them, so when I do, it makes me really happy.

Sadie and I
Sadie girl
4. I took myself shopping on Saturday.  My clothes don't really fit me anymore and its really time I try to find new clothes. Although I didn't buy anything, I felt really good trying clothes on.  Everything fit. I was able to wear jeans from the Juniors section. A year ago, I hate to even admit this, but my pants were a 14/16.  Now, I can easily fit into an 8/10. I still have a long ways to go, but that is progress, huge progress.  I used to hate buying jeans because I was dreading the day I would realize that I had to shop in the plus size section.  But now, I fit into clothes at regular stores and am no where near the biggest size the store carries.  All of the tops I tried on were size small.  I used to struggle to fit in extra larges because my arms and shoulders were so big.  Sometimes I struggle to see my progress and I get so fixated on how much more weight I want to lose.  But lately, shopping brings me clarity and shows that I am making progress and I should be proud of that.

Old jeans - too big now
5. After shopping, I treated myself to some coffee from Starbucks.  I usually brew my own coffee from home, so when I do go to Starbucks, its always a treat!

6. I got to hang out with my Mom.  We went to a market and found some cool Asian foods to try.  We grabbed happy hour together and just talked.  I vented to her and had one of those 'ah ha' moments and got some clarity.  She helps remind myself that I deserve good things and good people in my life.  Don't settle for mediocre because life is just too short. I had sangria and we both had chicken Caesar salads that were out of this world, so good!

Candy from the market

7. I went to Church on Sunday morning.  When I walked in the door, a girl shook my hand to welcome me and she complimented me on my makeup. 

8. Went to a family friend's house to watch the Superbowl. It was low key, but I had a really great time. We started planning a few trips for the spring and summer.  Pretty excited about that.

This weekend had a lot of lows for me, but I am happy that I am able to focus on the good.  Big learning lesson this weekend and a big reminder that I deserve good things and good relationships in my life.  The cool thing I realized is that I can choose the things and people I allow in my life.  I can be selective and choose good things for myself because I deserve good things. 

I spent time with people who love me for me.  I realized that I have been settling for far less than I deserve. I found happiness in the simple things.  I refuse to focus on the bad stuff or let certain things get me down.  So, I choose to focus on the good stuff, the stuff that makes me smile. 

Hope you all had a great weekend!