January 22, 2013

Work in Progress & Pictures From the Weekend

This weekend was a huge learning lesson for me.  I have been talking a lot about dating and I think it needs to stop.

That is going to stop right now.

Learning lesson of the weekend: I am still a work in progress.  I think I got ahead of myself for a minute, thinking that dating would be a walk in the park. Although I do think I am ready to date, this weekend was a reminder of how careful I need to be.  Its ok to take things slow, to not text the person all day, to turn off my phone for a while, to not see the person every day.  Its ok.  I tend to jump right in and scare the guy off.  

So for now, I am just going to do me and do my own thing.  I think I lost sight of what my goals were this weekend.  My goals are to learn to be myself, do my own thing, be happy, get in shape and just enjoy life.  I want to join a new gym, take golf lessons, meet new friends, learn how to play tennis, lose more weight, be confident in myself and learn to be happy and enjoy every second of everyday.  Those are the important things that I need to focus on right now rather than watching my phone waiting for a text and revolving my life around my dating life. 

I have made a lot of progress, but I still have a long ways to go.  My focus needs to be on me and my goals right now.  Those are my priorities right now.  Dating has to come second to me and my happiness right now.  Sometimes I question if dating will ever be easy, if missing someone becomes less depressing or if I will ever find a good balance between my happiness and dating.

I don't have time to be over thinking every move a guy makes or to worry about why I haven't heard from them.  Time to readjust my priorities back to ME, MYSELF and I. So I am just going to do my own thing, continue to work hard and eventually the people that belong in my life will come - and stay.

I think it is important to remind myself why I need to focus on myself.  Here are the reasons I want to be happy and in shape:

  1. I want to gain more confidence.
  2. I want strong defined muscles.
  3. I want to be secure with who I am as a person.
  4. I want to be more go with the flow and easy going.
  5. I want to be able to wear shorts in the summer.
  6. I want to be able to run like I used to.
  7. I don't want to be the fat sister anymore.
  8. I want to throw away my 'fat' clothes.
  9. I want to be able to wear the clothes that are in style.
  10. I want to buy a bathing suit this year.
  11. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.
  12. I want to feel attractive again.
  13. I want to feel confident wearing my hair up, not worrying about my double chin.
  14. I want to enter races.
  15. I am sick of my weight holding me back.
  16. I want to feel good enough.
  17. I want others to notice my weight loss.
  18. I am sick of being fat.
  19. I want to be in the 160's.
  20. Then I want to be in the 150's.
  21. Then I want to be in the 140's.
  22. I want to focus on building muscle, not losing fat.
  23. I want to be proud of myself.
  24. I enjoy working out.
  25. I want to feel worthy of good things.
  26. I want to wear dresses and high heels.
  27. I want this to be a lifestyle.
  28. I want to love myself.
  29. I want to look amazing in a wedding dress one day.
  30. I want to be content with myself.
  31. I want to learn to enjoy every second of everyday.
  32. I want to look as good as I feel.
  33. I want to reach my goal.
Jess

New Shirt

Iced coffee mixed with my vanilla protein
Sunday's workout
Menchies with my Sister
 Mia's Birthday treat
New sign for my apartment
Before Thursday's Date
New workout top

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