January 3, 2013

Resolution-er / Food Journal

I worked out with my trainer last night.  We focused on legs, back and core. The gym that we use is very small, so a couple extra people in the gym makes a big difference.  Normally, there is no one else in the gym with us.  Yesterday however, there were four other people in there.  Lots of people trying to stick with there New Year's Resolutions.  Although I hate the gym being so full, I genuinely hope they stick with their resolutions.

I have this weird irrational feeling lately.  I feel like people see me as a 'New Year's Resolution-er'.  I know, this is totally stupid, but I really hate the feeling.  I went to Barnes and Noble to get a Food and Fitness Journal.  Since I don't know my way around the store, I asked an employee for help.  There was a long line of people behind me and I nearly hid under the counter when he loudly repeated what I was looking for.  "Ohhh you want like a CALORIE COUNTER, like a DIET journal to track your DIET and stuff."  Yikes, could you say that any louder?! 

Why the heck am I so embarrassed by this? I know that this is a lifestyle for me, something I started long before the new year.  I know I shouldn't care what others think about me, but I really don't want to be mistaken for a 'Resolution-er'.  As much as I truly hope people stick with their New Year's Resolutions, I am looking forward to an empty gym.

As much as I felt like a 'Resolution-er' last night, I still managed to get to the gym, kick butt and buy my Food/Fitness Journal.  This journal is awesome.  There are sections to track breakfast, lunch, dinner and three snacks.  Several lines for each meal so you won't run out of room.  There are columns for amount, calories, fat, carbohydrates, fiber and protein along with a line to total the nutrition for each meal.  I really don't want to count calories and obsess about how many calories I have ate.  But, tracking nutrition might be good for me.  Still unsure about it.

I want to track my food intake so I can find patterns in my eating habits.  For example, yesterday I was starving.  I got home after the gym and wanted to eat everything in sight.  I had cravings for chips, popcorn, anything crunchy and salty.  So, I took out my journal and realized why I was starving and had cravings.  I ate half a Chobani Greek Yogurt for breakfast, skipped my banana.  For lunch, I ate half of a serving of my chicken tacos and didn't eat my salad.  After the gym, since I forgot my protein shake at home, I ate nothing.  So by the time I got home from the gym, NO WONDER I was starving and wanted to eat everything in my kitchen! 

So today, I packed myself a protein packed breakfast and lunch, and also brought my protein shake for after the gym tonight.  This journal helps me determine why I have cravings and pin points where I struggle.  Looking back at yesterday, I know I struggle with the urge to munch in the evenings.  I am bored, eating gives me something to do.  Today, I plan on eating more protein during the day, which will help me curb my urge to munch.  I also plan on trying to get to bed at an earlier time.  An 11:30 pm bedtime is way too late when I get up at 5:30 am.  Plus, if I go to bed earlier, I will solve my boredom problem.

I have had a food journal many time in the past and I have never been able to stick with it.  I am trying to be more optimistic about it this time around.  If I think I am going to fail, I probably will.  But, I am going to have a good attitude about it because it is a great tool that can get me closer to my goal.

Also, I started making my Goal Reminder cards.  My reasons to get fit and happy are endless.  I just wanted to share a few with you.  Many of them are superficial reasons, don't judge me.

  • I want to look stunning in a wedding dress one day - strapless, sweetheart neckline, lots of beading.
  • I want to be able to wear shorts this summer - I can't even remember the last time I even owned a pair.
  • I want to have more confidence in myself.
  • I want to date.
  • I want to feel attractive.
  • I want to be able to wear a bathing suit to the beach this summer - so sick of wearing yoga pants and a tank top to the beach.
  • I am sick of using my weight as an excuse not to do things.
  • I don't want to worry about other people thinking I am fat.
  • I don't want to have a double chin anymore.
  • I don't want stretch marks.
  • I am sick of having to wear Spanx and shapers - like wearing a full bathing suit under your clothes. Gross.
  • I hate being the fat sister.
  • I don't want my family to make comments about my weight anymore - glad they said something now, but I don't want them to ever have to say something again.
  • I want to feel proud of the way I look.
  • I want to be happy.
  • I want to feel ok about being in pictures.
  • I want to feel comfortable at family gatherings.
  • I want to be able to work on toning my muscles - not just losing fat.
  • I want this to be a lifestyle.
  • I want to have healthy eating habits.
  • I like knowing that others are inspired and motivated by me. 
  • I want to run a half marathon.
  • I want to feel less shy.
  • I want to be able to enjoy shopping.
  • I want to be able to wear colors, stripes, lose clothing without feeling so fat in it.
  • I want to have fabulous legs to show off in a dress with heels.
  • I want to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.
With that many reasons, why in the heck would I ever give up?  I am worth it.  I came up with these last night and I am sure that I will come up with several more as the days, weeks, months go by.  But whenever I am struggling, I have this list to look back at and remind myself that there are too many reasons why I want this for myself.  

Another win last night (I should add this to my happy jar!). My New Year's Date asked me to hang out this evening.  The old Jess would have cancelled all her plans, bailed on everyone else (including myself) to see a guy.  New Jess has priorities. I am planning on going to the gym tonight.  Hour of cardio and arms/chest day. So, I said no. Yes, this makes me sound like I am pushing people away and being selfish.  But, there are plenty of other days in the week, including the weekend.  So, I have plans this weekend with him instead.

This lifestyle is challenging still, but I am doing it for myself....because I am worth it.



  1. that looks like a great journal, I should look into one of those