January 30, 2013

One Fear At a Time

Yesterday's goal was to go to my new gym and go to spin class.  Class didn't start until 6:30.  Since the gym is less than five minutes from my place, I was able to go home, change, take my dogs out, do dishes and get my coffee ready for the next day.  That way, after spin class, I could come home and just relax without having to do any chores.

I was really anxious about going to my new gym because I was completely overwhelmed by the gym last time. To calm my nerves, I decided to leave for the gym around 6 so I would have plenty of time to get to the gym, park, put my stuff in the locker and grab a bike.  The gym parking lot was absolutely packed, which didn't help my nerves.  I walked in the gym and instantly saw a few people I knew.  They were so into their workouts that they didn't even notice me.  I went to the locker room, put my stuff away and went into the bathroom stall.  I just stood there and gave myself a pep talk.  I can do this.  This is just a gym, nothing to be scared about.  I may not be as fit as all of the girls running around in sports bras, but I am fit - and much more fit that I ever have been.  I looked in the mirror and realized I am my biggest enemy, when I should be my biggest cheerleader. I am the only person that holds me back.

By 6:15, I was in the spin room (which I found just fine) and I got my bike adjusted and ready for class.  I was nervous about which bike to choose because  I didn't want to be in the front row, but in the back row, my butt would be facing everyone on the treadmills. I chose a bike in the back row at the very end. Everyone looked like they knew what they were doing and knew how to use the bikes.  I was slightly relieved when I realized all the girls sitting around me had never even been to a spin class and had no idea what they were doing.  This gym just opened this past weekend.  I tend to forget that we are all new to the gym and we are all learning how to use the equipment and where things are at.

At 6:30, class started.  Within the first five minute, I had sweat dripping off of my face.  There was one woman who complained about how much time we spend out of the saddle and then she left the class. Personally, I loved this particular instructor because of how much time she had us out of the saddle.  She had great music, it was all stuff I would put on my own iPod to workout to.  The hour went by so fast, felt like I could have done another hour on the bike.

I was so nervous that I would be the biggest one in class, that I wouldn't be able to find the room, that I wouldn't be able to figure out how to use my bike and that I wouldn't be able to keep up in class.  But none of this was true.  I was not the biggest person in class. I found the room just fine. I learned to use the bike just like everyone else. I kept up with the instructor, never had to lower my resistance or sit down and take a break.  I was so afraid and nervous.  By the time class was over, I was wondering when I could go to spin again.

I have a lot of fears about this new gym.  Going to the fitness classes - spin, yoga, bootcamp, step, zumba, and using the weights.  I still have a lot of fears, the weight room being the biggest, but I am really glad I conquered one of them last night.  Spin was awesome and I am so glad I went.  I faced my fear and now I don't have a fear about going back to spin class.  Slowly, I will face all of these fears.  I will conquer yoga, bootcamp, step, zumba and the weight room just like I conquered spin class.

One fear at a time.  I can do this. I will do this.

Jess

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