December 31, 2012

HAPPY New Year's Eve

"I will be honest, I am nowhere enar where I want to be. I always get ahead of myself and remind myself to slow down. One step at a time as long as its forward, not backwards, it will work out."

A friend of mine sent this to me in a text last night and I feel like it really is a good quote of where I am right now.  Just thought I would share :)

Today is New Year's Eve, the day you are supposed to celebrate the end of one year and the beginning of another.  Most years, I don't understand why people celebrate it so much. One year, on to the next. No big deal.  This year, however, I feel like I have a lot to celebrate.

2012 started out rough.  I thought I had everything I wanted.  The career, the guy, the nice apartment, talks of marriage and the dog.  As the months went by, I just felt like something was missing.  If I have everything I thought I wanted, then why was I so miserable? It took a few months into the 2012 for me to realize what I was missing.

Happiness.

Sounds so small, yet, without happiness, whats the point of life?  Once I realized what I was missing in my life, I started making small changes in order to find my happiness.  I started by getting a new job, a job that I completely love.  My new job made me happier, but it didn't solve the problem.  I then adopted a new puppy, Mia, who I am completely in love with.

These changes helped, but didn't solve my problem.  The number one contributor to my unhappiness was the toxic relationship I was in.  I lost who I was and forgot what I deserved.  Making the decision to leave the relationship was unbelievably difficult, yet it was the best decision I have ever made.  Although I wanted out, its never easy to do.

I remember when he moved out of my apartment, I felt lost and had to sleep at my Mom's house for a bit. He was my identity, without him, I didn't know who I was.  But, for the first time in over a year, I felt like I could finally just breathe.

It was a new beginning for me.  The stressful part was over, just had to focus on rebuilding myself.  Soon after, I bought a new car and started dating again.  Still, something was missing.

It wasn't until I started exercising that I really felt like I found my happiness.  Exercising taught me that I am a very strong woman.  I am independent, hard working, determined and finally - I am happy.

2012 has been a crazy year and has turned out to be better than I ever could have dreamed.  I feel like I know more about myself than I ever have, I know what I deserve in a relationship now and have learned how important it is never to settle or cut yourself short.  I feel like I have clear goals - career goals, fitness goals and relationship goals. Now that I know what I want and what I deserve, its easier to go out and get those things. I have lost over 25 lbs and really good about myself.  Can't wait to lose even more and tone up in 2013.

Today, on the last day of 2012, I lifted over 100 lbs on each leg lift I did. Back in October, I was barely able to lift 50 lbs.  Just like the quote above, I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I am sure as hell closer than I was last New Year's Eve.

I am entering 2013 HAPPY - and that is something to be proud of :)

Wishing you all a HAPPY New Year's Eve! Cheers!

Jess


NYE 2011
NYE 2012

3 comments:

  1. What an awesome post! I love how you had the guts to change your life the way you did! Both of your photos are gorgeous but your "new" photo shows how happy you are! There is a real look of happiness in your eyes! Well done on an awesome year!

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  2. Happy new year to a healthy 2013! You look great!!

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  3. Loved this post! Really inspiring :)

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