December 12, 2012

Gym Motivation of the Day

I packed a lunch today.  A salad, three hard boiled eggs and a banana.  Healthy, but quite boring.  I decided to go tanning at lunch and pick up fresh spring rolls.  Yes, I should have just stuck with my packed lunch, but I didn't.

I walk into the place and guess who is sitting at the table right next to the register? My ex boyfriend of several years, my first love.  Karma for not eating my packed lunch!

I have always wondered about the day I would run into him.  I haven't seen him since college and he recently got married.  Would I be jealous?  Would I want to run and hide? Would I talk to him?

Well, I was none of the above.  My first thought in my head was, thank goodness I am looking good today! I don't think he even noticed me, but I hope he did.  Its always weird seeing old boyfriends again, no matter how confident I feel about myself.  I always thought I would feel jealous and miss him if I ever saw him again.  But, I didn't.  I am at a good place in my life and very happy with myself.  I am confident in myself, I know what I deserve in a relationship and I am ok being single and just doing me for right now.  I am busy working on myself, I don't have time to be jealous of him or the fact he is married now.  Good for him, I am just not ready for that right now.

It got me thinking though.  My life would be so incredibly different had I stayed in that relationship.   I had no identity, heck, my identity was being his girlfriend.  I had no friends, no hobbies and was not motivated to get a good career.  I wouldn't live where I live, have the job I have or have my two gorgeous puppies. Just goes to show, every decision we make in life is for a reason and can really change what the future looks like.

Moments like this show me how well I am doing.  The more I learn about myself and gain confidence, I realize that I really like who I am.  I don't have to miss my past or be jealous over what my old boyfriends are doing.  I am confident that I am bettering myself so I can have a good future and be happy.

I am working out with my trainer tonight and really looking forward to it.  I want to continue feeling good and looking just as good as I feel.  One day I will meet a great guy and he will make me realize why it never worked out with anyone else.  But in the meantime, I am going to kick butt in the gym and have confidence that everything happens for a reason.

Tonight, this is what is motivating me:

1. I want to be happy.
2. I don't want to be afraid of the scale again.
3. I want to feel so confident about myself.
4. I don't want to be afraid of seeing old friends and ex boyfriends.
5. I like feeling this good about myself.
6. I want to keep rocking the striped shirts.
7. I want to have a reason to buy all new clothes.
8. I like lifting heavy weight.
9. I want to have muscles - that show.
10. I like being able to lift more than all the girls in the gym.
11. I want to be able to wear shorts and sun dresses during the summer.
12. I want to be happy with my weight.
13. I want to reach my goal.
14. I want this to be a lifestyle.
15. I want to be able to post before and after pictures - and actually see a difference.

Jess

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