November 28, 2012

One Bad Day Won't Stop Me

Confession: I ate like crap yesterday and bailed out of the gym early.

Yesterday started out great.  I started my morning out with my usual coffee and light vanilla soy milk.  For breakfast, I had a vanilla Chobani yogurt.  This is where the day starts to go downhill.  Although I brought some healthy chicken for lunch, when a coworker approached me to go grab Thai food for lunch, I caved in and said yes.

Here was my thought process:

1. This whole journey is a lifestyle and I can't live my entire life not going out to eat.
2. Oh. My. Gosh.  I loooooove me some Thai food!
3. Thai is better than grabbing a burger and fries.
4. I will order something healthy and I will take part of the meal to go.

There.  In my mind, I just justified going out to eat rather than eating my healthy lunch from home.   Although my intentions were good, they didn't work out as I had hoped.  I planned on ordering something with chicken, no noodles and skipping on the rice.  Here is what I actually did: Um, I will have the lunch combo with Pad Thai (Fail #1) and Swimming Rama with brown rice (Fail #2). Ordered noodles and rice, even though I told myself I wouldn't.  Then I ate half the meal, boxed the rest up.  By the time I was ready to leave work and head to the gym, I made Fail #3.  I ate my leftovers.  Every last bit of them because I was starving.  Scratch that, I was not starving, they just looked good.  So, I not only ordered noodles and rice, I had also ate the entire meal like I told myself I wouldn't.

I went to the gym and felt sluggish. Greasy Thai food clearly isn't the best fuel before a workout.  I ran 1.5 miles before I decided to hop on the bike.  I barely lasted 30 minutes on the bike.  I then decided to go lift, it was an arms day.  I had it planned to do at least six different lifts before I decided to throw in the towel.  Well, the gym was packed, machines and weights were full so I copped out after four lifts.  As I walked out the gym, I remembered one of my previous blog posts.  Cheating on my reps only hurts myself.  Ugh. Fail #4.

I went home and planned on making myself a caesar salad and eating leftover chicken.  I made a caesar salad alright, but it looked more like some parmesan cheese and dressing with a little lettuce on the side. Fail #5.  If I was smart, I would have added in more lettuce and thrown on some grilled chicken, but I didn't.  Instead, I decided to make popcorn and cover it in salt. Fail #5.  By this time, I hadn't eaten any protein for dinner so obviously I was still starving and munchy.  This is where my night really took a turn for the worse.  I went to the refrigerator and reached past the chicken, the carrots, the strawberries and hard boiled eggs to grab the cheese.  Fail #6, I made nachos at 9 o'clock at night.  Who does that?! Oh yeah, this girl apparently.

Not proud of all of those poor decisions yesterday.  It was like I reverted back to the girl I used to be.  If I continue to eat the way I used to eat, then I need to be prepared to weigh what I used to weigh too.  I don't want to live like that anymore, it doesn't feel good.  I end up going to bed feeling so mad at myself and waking up in the morning feeling extra sluggish.

Thankfully, today is a new day to make new decisions.  I get to decide who I want to be.  Yesterday, I made poor decisions, but that doesn't mean I have to make those decisions today too.  I am better than that and I deserve to treat myself better.  Honestly, it was kind of scary to see the old me creeping back in.  I don't want to be like that anymore.  This whole journey to becoming a better person and more in shape is supposed to be a lifestyle.  A lifestyle that I can go out to eat, grab drinks, take a day off from the gym every now and then but still stick to my plan and be in control.  It is possible to go out to eat and make healthy decisions and leave the leftovers at the restaurant.  Not sure I am ready for that yet because I am just starting out this new lifestyle.  I am going to eat my chicken leftovers for lunch today and give myself enough time to prepare a healthy protein enriched dinner for this evening.

Today is a new day and I am going to choose to eat healthy and to work hard at the gym.  Cheating on my eating plan and workouts only hurts myself.  I want this for myself so bad, one bad day is not going to stop me.  Here is to a better day :)



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