November 15, 2012

Be Someone Who Makes You Happy

I worked out with my trainer last night.  She kicked my butt, as always.  I am sore today, which reminds me of how hard I worked last night.  We did lots of squats, core work, as well a a good bicep and chest workout.

Everyday after I workout with her, we always have good talks.  I feel like I can tell her anything, be honest and know that she will give me honest advice in return.  I told her that I am really anxious to weigh myself.  No idea why I am so obsessed with the number on the scale.  I think I just want to see the number go down to prove how hard I am working.  Even though I know I am working hard, I feel like the number on the scale will give me some sort of reassurance. She stopped and told me not to unless I was prepared to be disappointed.  The number is just a number, it does not define how hard you are working and trying.  Judge your success by how you feel, how your clothes fit and if you are happy.  She asked, "How do you feel?".  I told her I feel better than ever, much happier with myself.  And she said "It shows".

It shows? She talked about happy people and how you can just see it in their eyes. You can tell when someone is happy, they carry themselves differently and light up a room when they walk in.  Judge your success on that, not the scale.  If you are happy and you do things that make you happy, everything else will fall into place.  Being happy and feeling better about myself IS the result of my hard work, the number on the scale will follow eventually.  But in the meantime, why let the number on the scale disappoint me if working out and eating better makes me feel good?

I think I get sidetracked on why I am working out and why I want to eat better.  Don't get me wrong, I do want to lose weight, look better and be thinner.  But honestly, I would take happiness over being skinny any day of the week.  If I am not happy with myself, being fat or skinny isn't going to change that. I like that my trainer can notice a difference in my attitude and how I carry myself.

Along this journey of finding my happiness, I feel like I have totally changed my definition of "being happy".  I thought everything had to be perfect in order for me to be happy.  I honestly thought that I had to have a boyfriend and lot of friend and have this perfect life in order to be happy. I would always say, "I'll be happy when I am in shape", "I'll be happy when I get a boyfriend", "I'll be happy when I have more friends", "I'll be happy when I get a new car".  So many 'I'll be happy if's..'.

I can make myself happy all on my own, without anyone else.  I already proved that having a boyfriend won't make me happier considering my last relationship made me miserable to say the least.  I bought a new car and that made me happy for a second, until I started paying my car payment.  Happiness does not come from other people or material things.  I don't need attention from guys to make me happy.  I don't need buy new things to make myself happy.  The best part is that I am finding happiness in things that I already have and things that I already do.  Taking the time to appreciate what I have and realizing how much I have to be thankful for.  The more time I set aside for myself and to workout, to eat better, to cook healthy meals, the better I feel about myself and the happier I am.

I am choosing to be happy and choosing to rely on myself for my happiness.  I am perfectly fine all on my own and do not need to rely on other people or other things for my happiness.  Happiness is the goal, looking awesome is just the cherry on top.



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