October 8, 2012

Learning to Say No...Without Guilt

One of my biggest challenges is learning where the fine line is between being selfish and doing what you want.  Is it possible to always do what you want without being considered selfish? Is it possible to always keep your best interest in mind while caring for others?  Do I have to not worry about others in order to focus on myself?

These are the questions that pile up in my mind daily.  I am learning to do what I want, when I want.  Yet, each time I do, I feel an insane amount of guilt.  For example, I am supposed to have company come over tonight, but my company wants to meet elsewhere instead.  Meeting elsewhere tonight means I need to skip my workout, not walk my dogs and not eat dinner. Yet, I said no and now I am overwhelmed with guilt. All I want to do is call them back and say  I will skip meeting with my trainer in order to see them.  Yet, I really want to workout with my trainer.  Getting in shape is one of my main priorities right now. 

Makes me so mad how quickly I forget about myself in order to please everyone else. As guilty as I feel right now that I said no to the change of plans, I think I would feel even more mad at myself if I skipped meeting with my trainer tonight.  Sometimes I feel like it is easier being mad at myself than to have someone else mad at me.  I constantly worry whether people are mad at me or not and will do just about anything to make sure everyone is happy with me.  

I run around making sure everyone else is happy and that I am not disappointing anyone, yet I tend to forget about myself.  Running around pleasing everyone is frankly exhausting.  It is absolutely impossible to please everyone.  There is only so much time in the day and only so much you can do. 

There is nothing wrong with doing what you want, when you want, as long as you aren't harming anyone.  As easy as it is for me to write that, it is not so easy to do.  

I may feel like I disappointed people, but at least I am not disappointing myself.

Jess

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