September 30, 2012

My "Ah ha" Moment

I used to be a huge Oprah fan. She would always talk about these "Ah ha" moments.  Moments of clarity where you make a realization and everything seems to make perfect sense.  Well, I had one of these moments Friday night. 

I am one of those girls that when they like someone, they put their entire lives on hold to wait for that person to text, to call, to ask me to hang out.  I will purposely not make plans for the weekend in hopes of this guy to ask me to hang out.  And when Friday rolls around and he tells me he already has plans for the weekend, I am devastated.  Ridiculous, right? Well, found out on Thursday that the guy I have been crushing on is busy all weekend.  When I say busy, I mean he wants to relax at home with his dog instead. Ouch.

Well, after all my reading this week, I felt inspired to do something, to make plans rather that sit at home and feel defeated.  So, Friday night my best friend and I went out to dinner and went and rode the Great Wheel in downtown Seattle.  After that, we went and met up with a guy that I used to talk to a few months back.  I made plans without this guy and I had a GREAT time.  I did my own thing and for once, I was actually happy and not thinking about anyone but myself.  I didn't check my phone at all to see if he texted me.  I did exactly what I wanted and I had a really great time.

The guy who we met up with asked me to dinner on Saturday night.  Hesitant, I decided to go.  I mean, why not? Why wait around for some guy who blatantly told me he would rather sit at home and cuddle with his DOG?! So, I went to his place at six.  We went to a nice seafood restaurant on the water.  Sat on the deck, drank a glass of wine, watched the sunset and ate dinner.  We talked the entire time, he paid and was a complete gentleman.  We drove around Seattle, listened to Christmas music (I know it is only September) and laughed the entire time.  I had a great time.

Once again, look what I would have missed out if I sat around and waited for this other guy? He never texted, never called all weekend.  I would have been sitting here miserable. Today, I woke up, worked out and drank my coffee with my dogs.

It is amazing.  When I put myself first and do what I actually want to do, I feel true bliss and happiness.  When I feel happy, I am less likely to sit around and wait for someone who clearly doesn't want me.  I feel more confident and at ease.  When I am happy, I tend to like myself more and I don't feel like I need others approval.

So this was my "Ah Ha" moment.  Do what you want. Don't wait around for others. If you consistently do what you want, you will not be let down or disappointed.  I am really going to work on this.  Not allowing my happiness to rely on someone else.  I am in charge of my happiness.

Who knows if this new guy will call or text or ever want to see me again.  But, it doesn't matter.  I enjoyed the moment and had a lovely time.  I was entirely myself and if he doesn't like it, its 100% ok :)


Jess

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