September 10, 2009

Summer of Change

This summer has been like none other. I came home from school in June for the summer. Not going to lie, I wasn't happy. I could think of every reason in the book of why I wasn't happy. I looked at the negative side of life, I felt sorry for myself and for the things I have been through. I came home from school to work. My days consisted of waking up, going to work, running, eating dinner and then going to bed. What a life, I thought. I did nothing but work and run, and felt like I had no one. Also, seemed like everyone was getting engaged, getting married and having kids. I was (and am!) single and all by myself. I felt so much pressure to find "the one" and get on with life.

But then it clicked, how can I expect someone else to date me and love me if I didn't even love myself? I have no one else to blame for the way my life is besides myself. That was it, I was done sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I took it upon myself to look on the bright side of life. Whats the point of living if you're not going to enjoy the ride? This summer, I stayed committed to running and optimism. When I sit down and think about things, I have SO much to be thankful for. I have a job, I have the opportunity to go to school, and I have an incredibly loving family. My friend once showed me this quote, it says "Everyday might not be a good day, but there is something good in everyday." So true. I am so thankful that I wake up every morning to see the sun rise. So thankful that I have a job to go to everyday. Thankful to have a home and to have friends who care for me. I am thankful to be a runner and have SO much support!

My outlook on life has changed this summer. I am going back to school a different person. Life is so short. It is so important to step back everyday and take a look at what you have to be thankful for. I see things in a different light now. If you dwell on the negative, you will miss out on so much in life. I can finally say, I LOVE myself. I no longer feel like I need a boyfriend to complete me. I am perfectly fine on my own because I am my own best friend. God has a plan for me, and I know I will find love when the time is right.

One song that really hits home to me is Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews called "I'm Alive":

So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars that
I'm alive and well

It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you've sat and watch go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me... I'm alive

And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
I'm alive and well

That hit the nail on the head. It is so easy to focus on the negatives in life, use them for excuses of why we can't do things. Why can't we all just be thankful to be alive and well?

I have changed not only physically this summer, but mentally and emotionally as well. Its been a summer of change. I am going to go back to school changed. For the first time in my life, I can actually say I am happy. :)

So, slow it down, smell the flowers and enjoy the ride :)


  1. "Everyday might not be a good day, but there is something good in everyday."

    Very nice. That's one I'm going to remember....

  2. You are a runner. You run for miles. You know that the hard part of running is not the pain in the legs after the 15th mile, but it's the head and the thinking of getting on the finish line. You know that putting each step carefully on the road is the only way to finish that race. If you go too fast for what you can do, you will end up with no fuel, if you go too slow, you will blame on you for not taking the right gear when you could. Practice this in real life, dont desire things too early (kids or family) but even dont waste your time looking too long at the sunrise :))
    Plan and run your life as you would run a 26miles run. :)

  3. What a great post - and great song!! I love DMB (and Kenny).

    I just found your blog, via twitter, and can't wait to read more!

    Happy Running! :)