August 2, 2009

Mental > Physical

I had two great runs this weekend. A 15 miler and a 7 miler. I have thought a lot lately about why I run. Because when I think about it, its painful, tiring and straight up time consuming. In a sick and twisted way, the pain is the best part about running. I love running and feeling the burn deep in my muscles. In a way, the pain makes me feel more alive than ever. The pain also shows me how powerful my mind is. I can run 20 miles and be in so much pain I feel like I am going to collapse, but the one thing that soothes the pain is my mind. My mind is so powerful and it out does the pain every time. Running is so incredibly mental. When people say they aren't a runner because they are too out of shape and what not, I just laugh because its such a lame excuse. Anyone can be a runner, they just have to want it for themselves. Running shows me that my mind is so much more powerful that I ever thought.

If I can block out the pain while running, why can't I use my mind to conquer other things in life, like OCD, anxiety and my panic disorder? I can. Running helps me realize that I can use my mind to help conquer my OCD. If my mind is powerful enough to convince me of irrational things, then it can just as well help me realize those thoughts are irrational.

I did laundry today. Normally when I hang up my laundry it is organized by type and color and all of the shirts hang in the same direction. Today, I hung up the clothes and didn't organize them or make sure they were all hanging in the same direction. Although a small step, it was progress. It feels so good to make little changes everyday. The other day (last blog post) I vowed to not worry about the lid to my petroleum jelly. I am happy to say I have not worried about the lid and which way it was on the container. I got to say, it feels pretty darn good. Almost like chains are releasing. With every ritual I kick, I feel a little bit more free. I know one day, I will be completely free and I can't wait :).


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