August 7, 2009

Its All In My Mind

Just to warn you, the thoughts below are a bit scattered. I am not going to lie. I have not run all week. I have not had any motivation. I have really tried to spend my week thinking about why I run and what made me love running in the first place. There are so many people in the world that are too sick to run and some that can't even walk. Why do I take running for granted sometimes? I should be so thankful that I can run in the first place. I should be so thankful for all the good things running has done in my life. I need to spend more time with running, just so it knows how much it knows how much it means to me.

**I have a goal. My goal is to run the Seattle Marathon in November. Training alone has been very difficult. Although I prefer to run alone, I also would really enjoy having a running partner. Someone to keep me accountable and help me stay on track. Once again, this is another one of my lousy excuses for not running. I am sure if I had a training partner, I would come up with a different excuse. So, why all the excuses? I think I am very afraid I am going to fail. I am afraid I will not be able to run a marathon. I really can't sit around and not run due to my fear of failure. I am only hurting myself by having negative thoughts. I was talking to a friend last night about the importance of positive thinking. Its funny, I can sit around and tell everyone else to think positive, why can't I take my own advice? Negative thoughts will only hold me back from my goal. It is not going to get me anywhere.

"Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Whine less, breathe more. Talk less, say more. Love more and all good things will be yours."

"Once you replace the negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results."

Like I have said many times before, my mind is so powerful. I need to use it for the greater good. I really want to eliminate all of my negative thoughts and fears about running. I am not going to fail. I am going to run this marathon because I know I have the mental and physical strength to conquer whatever I set my mind to. My initial goal was to run the marathon at a specific pace and not walk at all. Since this is my first marathon, I just want to cross the finish line. I want to have the privilege of calling myself a marathoner. I want to know what it feels like to complete a marathon. I am a runner, next step is a marathoner. I will do it, because I know I can.

OCD UPDATE: I have had very positive results this week. Whenever I get a 'bad feeling' I quickly shut it down with a positive thought. Negative thoughts are not going to rule my life. I always drink my coffee in the same recliner every morning while i watch Sister Sister (haha). I never recline the seat, but this morning I decided to. The moment I reclined the chair, I immediately thought of a stretcher. Why? No clue. But, that to me, was a very bad thought. Was I going to wind up in a stretcher later that day? I quickly stopped those thoughts. I reclined my chair anyways, and so far, nothing bad has happened. By the way, right now I am getting bad thoughts about writing this. Like I am going to now have something bad happen to me. I am going to post this anyways. I have just been trying to do anything I can to show myself these 'bad thoughts' are just a pigment of my mind and very irrational. I love the picture on this post, "In my mind", that's what I keep telling myself.

2 comments:

  1. "Always do what you're afraid to do." I don't know where I read that...but everytime I think...I can't. I'm scared. It'll turn out badly...I remember this quote, and I do it. Usually, I succeed...because I'm an overachiever...will do whatever it takes to be successful.

    You are not the only one afraid of failing. I think that's a natural feeling. I signed up for my first marathon (Jan. 17, 2010). I am only up to 7 miles, but that's farther than I've ever gone prior to now. So, it's a start. I only wanted to do the 1/2, but it filled up, and I let my Twitter friends talk me into the full. I, too, just want to finish....in the allotted 6 hours. That's the only goal.

    You can do this! You are strong! You have a strong mind and body that can handle this. Your Twitter friends will support you...just don't be afraid to tell us when you're struggling so we can lift ya up to the next incremental goal.

    I have no running partner. I run alone. But if you need accountability, I'm glad to be that partner. Just remember that YOU CAN DO IT! Believe in yourself!

    "It is the mind that rules the body." --Sojourner Truth

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  2. Whenever I need motivation, I give myself a reward when I complete that goal. A lot of people think that a reward has to be something big, but it doesn't. You can make little goals every day and not give yourself the reward until you accomplish that goal. Maybe you should make blogging a reward for running. No running, no blogging. Or it could be anything else, as long as the reward is healthy and productive.

    As far as telling people to think positive when you yourself struggle with it, you really shouldn't worry about it. There is no hypocrisy in helping other people and trying to better yourself in the process. I think everyone struggles with positive thinking at some point. I think when you tell other people to try to have positive thoughts, it is sort of like you are telling yourself that in the process, and sometime people need to hear good advice, even if it is coming from their own mouths.

    You can do it!

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